This Is Not Fitness; It's Harm Disguised as Discipline
CW: Eating Disorders
I watched the video so you don’t have to.
My blood pressure went through the roof; almost through my phone.
Earlier this week, a well-known "bro" influencer and self-proclaimed motivational speaker stood on stage in front of hundreds, primarily adult men, and brought his 9- and 12-year-old daughters up with him.
What happened next wasn’t motivation. It was exploitation.
He had his daughters lift their shirts to show off their abdominal muscles, “six-packs, ‘ while bragging about a deal they’d made: if they could get visible abs by this event, he’d take them on a shopping spree.
You could see they were visibly uncomfortable.
He had to coax them saying “don’t be shy. As if their hesitation was the problem, not the situation he forced them into.
Let’s be clear:
This is not fitness.
This is not family.
This is not pride or discipline.
This is a father using his daughters’ bodies as currency for public validation. It’s coercive. It’s objectifying. It’s harmful.
Young girls being praised for achieving a body standard designed for adult men is not health; it’s a pipeline to body image issues, disordered eating, and long-term emotional damage.
Eating Disorder Statistics:
22% of children and adolescents worldwide show disordered eating.
Every 52 minutes 1 person dies as a direct consequence of an eating disorder.
What Message Are We Sending?
The relentless push toward one narrow standard of "health" harms everyone, especially kids. We are not here to mold children into aesthetics-driven trophies. We are here to teach them they are enough, exactly as they are.
This influencer might have been collecting applause from a crowd of men who saw discipline. But what his daughters learned is that performance matters more than consent, that their bodies are public property, and that discomfort should be swallowed for applause.
We need to do better. Not just for ourselves, but for the young girls who are watching, because men like him sure don’t give a damn about them. They care about exactly two things:
having their egos stroked and making money.
We owe the next generation more than that.
This isn’t just a parenting failure, it’s a cultural one.
And we must speak up.
My Line in the Sand
This is not love.
This is not fitness.
This is not okay.
And we must say so; loudly and without apology.
Seeing that video solidified something I’ve always felt deep down:
I will never use bodies as business cards. Not mine, and not the people I work with.
Because a body isn’t a brand.
It’s not proof of worth, discipline, or value.
It’s not a marketing tool.
And it’s sure as hell not currency.
Bodies are where we live.
They carry our stories, our stress, our joy, our resilience.
To reduce them to “before and after” photos or proof of commitment misses the entire point of what real health, real confidence, actually looks like.
I don’t coach for aesthetics.
I coach for strength. For autonomy. For respect.
For the kind of trust in yourself that doesn’t depend on a mirror or a scale.
Because when we detach health from appearance, we create space for people to actually thrive.
So no; I will never sell transformation by showing off someone’s stomach.
I will never ask someone to be more “marketable” by being smaller.
And I will never parade bodies around to prove my credibility.
We’ve all seen what happens when people do.
And I want no part of it.
Have thoughts to share? Drop them in the comments. Let’s keep this conversation going.
A Note on Body Fat and Health:
Visible abs are not a universal marker of health.
The essential body fat percentage for girls and women is between 10–13%, with 21–33% considered healthy depending on age and other factors. Achieving a visible six-pack often requires dropping body fat to around 15% or lower, significantly below the healthy range for most women.
While some individuals may naturally have lower body fat, sustaining that level long-term is difficult and can be disruptive to women's health.
Low body fat in women is linked to:
Irregular or missing menstrual cycles (amenorrhea)
Fertility issues
Decreased bone density and increased risk of osteoporosis
Mood swings, anxiety, and depression
Fatigue and poor recovery from exercise
Disruption in key hormones like estrogen, leptin, and cortisol
For young girls, whose bodies are still developing, these risks are even more pronounced. Restricting calories or training intensely to achieve low body fat can interrupt puberty, delay growth, and have serious mental and emotional consequences.
But more importantly:
Not every body is meant to have a visible six-pack or a flat stomach.
And that’s not a flaw. That’s biology. That’s diversity. That’s normal.
Bodies come in all shapes, sizes, and compositions; and every one of them is worthy of respect, care, and dignity. You can be strong, active, and vibrant without ever seeing a single ab. Some bodies hold muscle differently. Some carry more fat as a natural and healthy part of development. None of that makes a person less fit, less worthy, or less beautiful.
